Smell my Lemon!
by JamJackEvo
Summary: Weird title, I know. Strangely... the story fits the title. I'm tempted to rewrite this very early (not to mention rough) work of mine, but in the end I won't, no matter how embarrassing it felt rereading it. Reviewers have said this is FUNNY and a little DISTURBING. And no, this is not a hot juicy jerk-off material. Its intent is for the laugh.


This my first ever try in doing a lemon fic. I'm worried it might be a bit drabble-y. It's based on a joke our chemistry teacher once told us to lighten the mood during class. And no, it's not about chemistry. If you haven't guessed what will happen even after reading the title... just read it. Real slapstick humor.

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A pleasant night for some well-deserved rest. But to one particular brunette, this night would mean the end of her purity. 

The end of her sealed lips.

The end of her tight sacred crevice.

The end of her never-been-touched pink flowerbud. Not to be confused with her rosebud...

The end...

... of her virginity.

She waits in the bedroom at their hotel room. Yes, it's 'their.' And when I mean 'their' I was referring to her husband. This is their first night to be with each other. They just got married yesterday and went on their honeymoon on the next day. Well, the woman had a huge difficulty to convince the man that it is not really a good idea to have a honeymoon right away since they still have their own jobs to do. But the man wouldn't listen, he said almost pleading, "NO! I will not stand for this! My daughter has just become my wife and now she doesn't want our relationship to improve more than it is now!" The guy was totally over-reacting.

And right now, she kind of regretted ever agreeing to her husband's pleas. She thought she had already got used to his cries, pleas and his "corner of despair moments" but we can guess she was wrong. "Well, there's no use crying over spilt milk," she said to herself. No one else was in the room. Her husband is taking a shower in the next room. But usually, isn't it suppose to be the woman in the shower and the man's suppose to be waiting in the bed feeling nervous about their first night together? What is this, a change of roles? A cluster role?

It didn't really matter though because they're both virgins and are anxious whether everything will turn out okay or not.

"Tamaki, are you done?" she asked her husband who is still in the bathroom.

"Yeah, I'm done." he answered and then came out with just a towel to cover his lower body. Freshly toned muscles and well-built abs greeted Haruhi Fujioka's eyes. No, she's no longer Fujioka. Now, her surname is Suou.

"Uh... ano..." she tried to say something but she just couldn't stop staring at Tamaki's beautiful body which made her stutter.

"Yes, my wife?" Tamaki asked. He still had to get used to the fact that his so-called 'daughter' is now his 'wife.' But let's see if old habits are still intact.

"N--Nothing." she muttered but loud enough for the light brown-haired man to hear.

"So... this is it." Tamaki stated to his wife. Yes, this _is_ it. Their first ever night together. Yet, he didn't what he should do. The guy was too warped with his thoughts that he didn't even planned on what to do on his first move. First moves are always important when you're about to have something this life-changing experience about to happen to you. Very life changing, indeed (author sweat drops).

Well, it's better to skip the formalities, the whole conversation about random things, them closing in on each other in their king-sized bed, and just move on to the lemony goodness. You guys don't have problems with that, right?

They both kissed passionately. "Mmm? mmm..." Haruhi wasn't prepared for this sudden action so it takes another moment for her to let her body relax. "Hmm... ah..." her lips are soft. Tamaki couldn't get enough of it. He can already see that the brunette is looking rather stimulated from this simple action. Her face looks flushed. He entered his tongue into her mouth and she gladly accepted it. She puts her tongue out and lets it meet his. She had troubles keeping her action steady while trying her best not to moan from the pleasure. It's not yet the main course but she can already feel the heat inside her building up.

"Eh? Ahh... mmm..." she didn't expect Tamaki's hand to slid down her night gown and onto her breasts. She exhales deeply through her nose while her lips are still sealed with his. Then, she began to relax. Tamaki made circular motions with his hand as if to mold her breasts in different shapes. "Hmm... ahh..." Haruhi couldn't help but moan from his hand's delicate movements around her breasts. He can feel her heartbeat from her small breasts.

When their lips are finally apart, they looked at each other with lustful intents. "Haruhi... you're so red." Tamaki said to the brunette.

"I can't help it... this is my first time and all..." she explained while she continues a blush which made her face redder than before if that's anymore possible.

"Then I'll be sure to be gentle, my sweet." They both kissed again.

"But before we move on any further," Haruhi interrupted before Tamaki could remove her night gown. "Could you please turn off the light?"

Tamaki was puzzled at first but soon understood what she meant. It's her first time. No one has ever seen her naked before. She's too embarrassed to even show a slight glimpse of it. Tamaki is very understanding and nodded at her in agreement. To tell you the truth, he's actually embarrassed too. And soon the lights were off and they were both slowly engulfed with each other.

"I'm going to take it off," Tamaki stated. Haruhi blushed but nodded in agreement. The room was simply dark but they still had a little light being illuminated from outside. The moon. Her gown was off and she lies on the bed with only her panties. Even in the dim room, Tamaki can already feel his desires sky-rocketing from this sight.

Tamaki hesitantly laid his hand over Haruhi's bush. "Heh?! A--ahhh..." she moaned with pleasure. Just a few short movements with his fingers and he can already feel that his hand's getting soaked. "Hmm... ah... oh, ahh..." her sweet moans entered his ears and his desire grew. He bends his finger and plays around the outside of her slit. "Ahh..." she was very sensitive around their. He then lets his finger enter her sacred domain. The entrance is small and tight... it would be harder to enter his cock when the time comes. He can feel Haruhi shivering from the penetration. Her insides are hot and tight. He slowly moved his finger back and forth, in and out. "Ah... mmm..." her moans exploded from her mouth as she feels electricity going through her body. She's in ecstasy. Her moans almost became a whisper when Tamaki removes his finger from inside her.

Tamaki slowly removed the last piece of her clothes and stared at the tight crevice around her legs. "Iya! Don't look!" she then closed her legs to stop Tamaki's stare on her womanhood. "It's embarrassing..." but Tamaki assured her that there is nothing to be afraid of.

"Please, be gentle..." she embarrassingly pleaded. This made Tamaki even more nervous. His 'little brother' couldn't take it anymore. 'He' had to be taken out or 'he' will choke to death inside Tamaki's underwear. Yes, he wore underwear under that towel. The immense arousal took its toll on Tamaki and he slowly took of his underpants.

As his thoughts ramble upon the events that has unfold, he closed his eyes and wrapped himself around his wife. Haruhi, drugged in pleasure, couldn't think straight and can only relax and let her husband do the rest. Slowly, Tamaki lead his 'brother' towards Haruhi's hole. It _is_ small and tight. It'll take a while for her to get used to the size. He enters her hole. "AAHHHH!! ITAAII!!!" she screamed with all her breath. It definitely hurts and she can feel the blood trickling down her hole. Nevertheless, she bears the pain and told Tamaki that he can move. _I didn't knew you could actually put _that_ thing in _there, she thought seriously dumbfounded from where her husband's cock is at the moment. And in another thought... she doesn't really like the view...

PUMP! PUMP!

Tamaki firstly went slow but as soon as the pleasure kicks in, he now moves like a piston. He furiously pumps away while Haruhi moans with a toned voice that sounds like a mixture of pleasure and pain. And in the final moments of their tryst...

"Haruhi, I'm coming!" Tamaki pulled out and Haruhi was then devoured with white liquid all over her upper body. Her face is in rapture, feeling the after effects from their tryst. They finally did it. Their first time of making love.

"Tamaki, you were too rough," Haruhi complained. "Because of that it's bleeding a lot."

"Ah? Is that so? I'm so sorry." he pleaded innocently. "Can I turn on the lights so I can help you put some bandages on it," **(A/N: How can you put bandages **_**there**_**, baka!!!) **"or maybe some tissue." **(Finally, something logical... yet idiotic all the same...)** Tamaki moves to turn on the lights when---

"Tamaki? Are you sure you put your... _thing_ in the right place?" Haruhi asked.

"Heh? What are you talking about?"

"Because---" the lights then went on and Tamaki gazes at his wife's beautiful naked body... the blood... "I don't think you're suppose to insert it here." she pointed at the origin of all the blood.

... her nose is bleeding.

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Read and review, please. Tell me if there's anything wrong here. I know that they may seem a bit OOC but it's just to blend with the joke-- I mean mood. Well, please review and hope you're not offended from this. 


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